Is there a cure faster than time to heal the agony of mind?

Nevertheless a straight line when you look into my eyes

I will only turn my back to run and hide

I find solace in the notion to be patient for the world is broad and wide

This is what happens when you nerd out on a Friday night reading Flatland for the second time. You begin to write poems of love and longing for the perfect triangle- HA. I hope this poem does not proceed to besmear whatever illusions one may have of my exquisite nature. I suppose the fact I declined an invite to go out tonight, to read Flatland again, has already besmirched my appeal.

I am required to take a computer literacy class. I must say initially I was beyond irritated, being I feel I have adequate knowledge, which surpasses an average individuals knowledge on the subject matter. I will admit the class is rather interesting, or the course material I should say. This one particular class is online, so I do not have to attend any campus meetings. However, computer literacy? Are you fucking shitting me? What could you possibly need to know beyond navigating through an online course? One’s ability to take an online course should satisfy the requirement. I suppose it is all due to the fiscal motives of the school system. All these bullshit courses required to satisfy degree requirements, or to just simply make money off us. I am shocked that the course catalog does not offer “Liberalism 101: Learn how to bring America to it’s demise in one semester!” taught by Mrs. Fucking Robinson.

“Laugh about it, shout about it
When you’ve got to choose
Ev’ry way you look at it, you lose” – simon & gar

]]> http://sharkhaus.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=128 6 http://sharkhaus.com/blog/?p=111 http://sharkhaus.com/blog/?p=111#comments Sat, 23 Jan 2010 02:52:24 +0000 sharkhaus http://sharkhaus.com/blog/?p=111 on the run – 2010 S. D’Giff

the umbrage you take from the acrimony that drips from these lips

the abuse i reckon stains the sanctity of the soul

the voices of judgement and ridicule leave the disheartened heartless and the hands cold and imbrued

let it begin – 2009 S. D’Giff

a photograph is burning in my face and the remanence of my faith is scorching for a new beginning

my harbored hatred has suborned the lies that leave me bound and chastised

the only hope i have rests in the night through the shallow nightmares and dreams once awaken i find that long lost reverie was only a truth waiting to be seen

i now open my eyes and embrace the warmth of reality however dark it may seem

LISTEN TO THIS SONG!

www.myspace.com/thesharkhaus (LOOK FOR TRACK “NOTHING LEFT”)

till there is nothing left – 2010 S. D’Giff

the darkness pulls me to the edge and the light causes me to fight but i know it is easier to give in

when i gain – i gain only temporary bliss and from here i am left with the memories that clench my fists

i tried my best –  it is easier – why not do what is easier

its my life this is my pain

i am not sorry anymore

these are my fists these are my lips

i will love i will hate

i will give and continue to give and keep giving

i will not forgive and i am not sorry

I am not a dreamer, which is why I cannot create a fantasy as a consolatory effort to believing that time is on my side. Time has significance, but nothing more than the simplicity of structure. Every moment wasted on a wish or a dream, is wasted.
Yes war is unpleasant and at bottom “good for absolutely nothing” in a sense that there is nothing more valuable than a life that should be fought for, which encompasses freedom. Yes, love is all we need, but in reality love is not going to happen overnight. This is why the world is divided amongst those who dream about the way the world should be, and those who work to prevent what should not be. Those who actually experience loss in regards to something they have achieved and worked for may not be the first to acknowledge this fact, but they will eventually realize they are not as cynical as they once thought they were, given the irony that stems from their new found accurate perception of reality, which leads them to the thought of questioning their cynicism.
I enjoy reading, and expanding my mind. Most of what I have come to understand has been boldly stated before by many wise men. I am too young to be wise; too old to be a fool, therefore I remain a casualty of my own mind. I am never too quiet or inferior to speak what I have come to know as my own truths. I have challenged my feelings of guilt and feelings of shame, which leaves no opportunity for anyone including myself to prey upon my strengths and weaknesses which I no longer feel the need to conceal.

If you chose to keep your secrets, you will carry that burden with you till you reach the sacred grounds of death. Remember my friends, a dream can reveal how unjust a belief is, and you can’t attend to your needs when you are distant from reality.
There is nothing I need that requires billions of dollars. In fact, a million would be excessive. I do not know myself entirely, but; I am human, I am a female. I do not feel I lack self control, I just feel a ridiculous amount of money will result in an absurd amount of unnecessary shit. In terms of abundance, I only have a desire for an abundant harvest.

a garland of withering pansies
rests on the head of a statue made of stone
surrounded by the shuberrys of wilting asters where the weeds are over grown
the pellets of moisture drown out the colors and the heartache pours right through

you will never you will never ever know
how i feel how i feel now that your gone
baby i should have known better
should have known better then to let you go

-anticipation-
have a little faith keep a little place make little space in your heart for me i am coming home

©Knights Imperil 2008 (S. D’Giff)

the madness is coming this way
as i look out to the east i see them all speared and slain
i have exhausted all i can
the madness will eventually come this way again
as i stand out on the balcony – i feel the afterlife of my spirit in the breeze
the grass is no longer green 3 miles east from where i used to sleep – let the storm begin to allow my life to end

“once ago i was strong till i met your gaze

your smile made me weak your heart made me incomplete

i was not awake but you lifted me” – LIFT 2009 © S. D’Giff

I posted a little excerpt from a song I just wrote called “LIFT”.

Lovers come and lovers go. It is a concept really; one which I fully understood. I never held on too tight, however I never really felt much to grasp. I always found it quite simple to convey my feelings; my feelings were quite unequivocal. I always knew what to say, and when to say it. I never had a myriad of indescribable feelings, simply because my feelings were easily defined and pretty conventional. Anxiety generally rests among the fear of the unknown. I suppose that can explain why lately my ability to communicate, or convey my inner most thoughts and feelings, have caused my emotions to go awry. I have all of these indescribable feelings which actually feel good, but the idea of not knowing what they are exactly has me a bit afraid. Afraid, and reluctant to share. The worst part is knowing this source of elatedness and inspiration comes from another person. The moment you find something as rare as inspiration, you better grasp at whatever pieces you can. Take the ride, if it is a good ride, why not? I must say, I was afraid to ride “THE CYCLONE”, when I was 8 years old, for obvious reasons. It seemed a bit unstable and worn out, but it was thrilling! It was over before I could open my eyes and actually scream… Which is the most I can say about past lovers.